New Moon in Pisces

Happy New Moon! I did a spread tonight in honor of the New Moon and doubled up the cards in each position to get a more comprehensive read.

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Position 1 is in the center, 2 the bottom left, then moving clockwise, ending with position 7 directly below position 1.
  1. Where you stand, here now, what energy is around you
  2. Something to leave behind
  3. Something to receive – from yourself, another person, or the universe
  4. Something to learn – something this past lunar month has taught you
  5. Something to give – something to offer this world
  6. Your hopes and dreams
  7. Your secret special skill – a resource to help you on your journey

We start with position 1, where I am now. The 3 of Swords and the 2 of Pentacles. I’m working through a lot of pain and hurt and trauma from my past and really feeling it for the first time, so yeah the 3 of Swords resonates deeply with where I am right now. But that’s balanced with the 2 of Pentacles, a hopeful card of balance and change. The butterfly emerges and flies away, better for the transformation. I’m holding both these energies in my body right now. Working towards change, being ready to become a butterfly, but also letting myself feel the hurt.

Then something to leave behind. The cats of Justice stare at me. Next to that, the 6 of Pentacles- a car of generosity, growth and prosperity. This, I feel, is referencing something very specific to my life. In the past my parents have manipulated me with money. A lot. For a long time. And it’s been hard for me to cut ties in the way I need to because I’ve been conditioned to feel like someday the bottom is going to drop out and I’m going to need them to help me. The cards are saying that I’ve made a choice to create boundaries and distance with them for very good reasons and I need to not be tempted by old ways of thinking. This elusive idea of financial safety with them comes with too many strings. It’s not worth it.

Something to receive. Six of Swords is about hope and recovery from hard times, also potentially travel. The 9 of Wands is the last leg of a creative journey. Almost there, keep going! I need to take in hope that I’m going to recover that is being offered to me from my therapist, my friends, and from myself.Take in that hope and let it fill me. I’m going to get through this. I also need to acknowledge that it’s been a long journey getting here and I should be proud, I’m making such good progress. I also take this to mean that I’m in a tough spot with some of my creative endeavors and I need to keep pushing on.

Something to learn. 5 of wands is a scattered and distracted card, which I’ve definitely felt over this last lunar month. Time to take a breath, concentrate my energy and find some focus. The Daughter of Cups is an emotional, dreamy card. I’m not sure if it’s a specific person in my life right now, or an energy I’ve been nurturing myself. Either way, it’s time to stop daydreaming about winning literary awards and focus on actually writing the book I’m trying to write.

Something to give. The Mother of Swords is keen and perceptive, almost all knowing. The Ace of wands indicates new creative endeavors. I feel like this is screaming WRITE YOUR EFFING BOOK ALREADY! I need to bring my own perspective to my new(ish) creative endeavor. I have a book that needs to be born into the world. So sit down and write it!

Hopes and dreams. Both Wand cards, the 4 and the 6. Both are about celebration, completion, rising above it. I want to write this book. I want to heal. I want to make the world better in this time of utter bullshit. I want to bring beauty and hope to the world.

And a special secret skill. The 5 of Cups and The Star. These seem contradictory cards, but to me they make perfect sense. 5 of Cups is a wistful, melancholy card. It’s acknowledging what has been lost, what may never return. It’s allowing yourself to feel sad but not getting weighed down in it. The Star is pure hope and peace of mind. The guidebook says, “…about connecting to the part of you that is hopeful and serene.” So my secret special skill is taking the pain, the loss in my life and turning it into something beautiful. Something that can make others feel not alone, make them feel connected. The Star also follows the destruction of The Tower. Out of destruction there emerges quiet beauty. This is my gift.

This reading is all about acknowledging where I am emotionally. Letting myself feel the pain, but working to transform that into something beautiful, and letting it transform me. It’s a hopeful reading and it is helping me take a deep breath today.

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